He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
