you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
is it fun? or sober?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
