Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
