Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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