As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
