I woke up to her vacumming the grass
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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