Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
