I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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