This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
