When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize