i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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