I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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