he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
