I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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