My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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