I hate your face
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
