I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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