Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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