Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
