apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he thought i was a dude.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
