And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
