Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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