Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
