yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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