Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
