If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
