I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's blow job season.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
