youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
