My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
