that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
