I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize