shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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