You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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