Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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