how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
