oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Rumble strips road head = magical
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
