Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
