You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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