I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
