This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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