Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You don't make any sense
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