Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
