Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
