I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
