who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
