i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
