high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
