Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
