is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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