I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
