You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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