I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
