Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
