this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
