I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
