I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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