If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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