If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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