Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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