You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
