Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
