Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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