Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
