I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
