Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
