Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
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You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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